


Piss in a cup

by GothLovecore



Category: Splatoon
Genre: I telling the truth it's not actually piss, Piss, Piss but not really, Roleswap, We went feral boys, brainwashed marie, it just looks like it...with glitter, shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-18 15:46:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18702640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothLovecore/pseuds/GothLovecore
Summary: Four just wanted Momma Callie's famous fresh drink.





	Piss in a cup

Agent 4 worked really hard that day. No she didn’t. She did a fucksy wucksy and fucking failed everyone. She didn’t feel bad though. She had her super lesbian mom to help her through these tough thirstful times.

She happily skipped back to the shack without a care in the world. An octoling was being mugged by an Octarian but that didn’t matter to her. She just wanted her ever so delectable drink made by her lesbian mom.

Callie was mcfucking around in the Shack. She was creating the MOST powerful drink. She added a giant of Crusty Sean’s fried edible glitter into the blender. “Blend bitch Blend”

Agent 4 popped out of the corner like the sewer rat she was and bounced up and down. “Hi mom splatoon! Have you made me a ever so tasteful drink for me to consume on this hot winter afternoon.”

Callie unpop that cuckmixer, pouring the pissy pink mixture into a single Red Solo™ cup. “I surely fucking did. Momma Callie’s famous PISS IN A CUP “ She handed the slightly thick fizzy drink to the blue leprechaun child that they dealt with.

The delicious lickitly treat-named agent held the cup with excitement trembling in their cup. Their extreme dumbass lesbian mom pulled through with their famous drink once more. The frothing drink that could be passed as Octarian crack if sold on the black ink market stood in front of them.

That’s right, the cup grew fucking legs. That’s how powerful this piss is. It gave a cup sentience. It didn’t move actually. It didn’t even talk. It just got legs, cause style.”Ah shit. Here we go again.” Callie Replied and shot the fucking legs with a real gun. “Can’t have my piss running on my daughter.”

The edible agent frowned. They didn’t like these legs. They were fine before but when they were loaded with bullets it grew hair with the power of piss or the radiation from the bullets. “Mom? Do you have a second non-fuckery cup? Preferably legless. I’ll take noses.”

“Don’t worry, sweetie.” Callie found an one bottle wine glass in the one of the cabinet. The glass really showed off the swirl of hot pink glitter and yellow foam. The delicate drink made fizzing noises. It didn’t before but it decided now to do so. Why? No one can explain, the piss does what it wants.

Damn right it did. That’s the piss our lord and savior. It sacrificed its life for all piss kind. Wait this isn’t human times and inkling history only goes to about 20XX? What the fuck is this mega man? I don’t see no doctor whiwey, doctor willy, doctor wily. Who gives a fuck Nintendo doesn’t own that franchise.

After an absolute tangent later and Agent fucking popsicle waiting to just drink some quality piss. “Chug Chug Chug” Callie chanted. Their lesbian mom was ecstatic to see the piss drunk.

Note: lesbian doesn’t mean she has a girlfriend yet. She hasn’t found anyone as lesbian as her. Maybe in a few more fics she will find a lesbian that has her same appreciation of piss. The girls of the world wasn’t ready for the piss and glitter that she contained. So vivid, So squiddy.

Why are we giving so much suspense for a cup of piss? Because if you’re reading this then you already enjoy suspense. That’s what them marvel movies do right? Thanos or someshit. See five more seconds and you’ve thought about a cup of piss. It works!

Callie, being impatient of the narrator preventing the piss drinking, puts a cherry inside the brew. Popsicle loves cherrys, along with piss in a cup, cinnamon from the bottle and solid sardinium. Sardinium is delicious, it tastes like if piss in a cup was made into metal. Metal doesn’t taste good though but some toothpaste makes food tastes wonders.

Popsicle looked to her left and right. She was making sure those narrators wouldn’t keep her away from her piss any longer. She loved her piss a lot. The juicy taste, the memes. Someone being a bitchass, oh wait the narrators found her again.

Callie tried to throw her roller but it was attached to her hand. For no reason it just stuck on her hand. Maybe the piss commanded her to not perform illegal special actions.

Just then Marie Splatoon appeared out of fucking nowhere. But wait you ask! Isn’t her name Marie Cuttlefish? No. It's our fic and the wiki is the splatoon wiki not the Cuttlefish wiki. It makes a lot of sense cause the internet says so. The internet is 20% right so that makes it always right. 2 is an even number and even means good and a zero with even means good good. Marie however was not a good 2. She has a illegal 5th limb that was more than the typical 4 inklings had. BUT SQUID HAVE 10 LIMBS. But our plot doesn’t work if they do so shush. BUT OUR LIMBS. Stop shit posting in my shit post. It makes shitpostception. Readers can’t handle more than one shitpost at a time. tHEY COULD IF THEY HAD 10 LIMBS.

Popsicle would listen to this argument and made them question reality itself. But they didn’t care.They wanted their piss and they were going to murder for some piss. Oh right Marie is here, I forgot about her.

Marie always hated Callie’s piss in cup. It was the bane of her existence. The reason why she couldn’t look at cups without being reminded of the sickening brew. This is why she hate life. It totally wasn’t the weed gas in her mask warping her mind to think about weed rather than piss.

Marie splatoon would cough 3 megawatts of smoke out of her mask. The weed made her eyes extremely green. Not green like Sanitized bitch in the McFuckboi’s playpen. Just green. We will not clarify on shade of green. Unless you want to make fan art. Then we will finish this and let popsicle have the piss.

Speaking of popsicle she is still waiting to drink this piss. She was getting thirsty and this cold summer's day needed a warm piss to drink. She was thinking about going to fuck off to an octoling level. Maybe they would like her piss and give Callie her lesbian wife. Maybe that was the key to the mystical piss. But they didn’t want to move. We don’t have the budget to change scene. Why do you think Marie splatoon is here? You were lucky we didn’t get the deformed one or a cardboard cutout. Animation is expensive. What do you mean, it's not animated? You don't know our life.

Popsicle was reminded of the piss. They had desires. But the narrators kept finding her. Note there isn’t many places to hide when you stand on a photograph of Cuttlefish cabin. Ok time for Marie Cuttlefish.

“Sup bishes” Marie said. She had to make her presence known. The last 3 paragraphs didn’t mention her at all. Note Marie doesn’t know how to count. “So you guys want some flower?” 

Callie held up her bitchin umbrella to point at Marie but it was no splat brella so it did nothing. That didn’t care cause Callie would begin spinning her umbrella. Why? Cause.

“We don’t want your sea snail quills Marie. You have vore interests and we don’t like them.” One of the two good guys replied. We won’t specify.

“But if you name yourself after food you are food. Our names make calamari. And that Wendy’s piss drinker doesn’t have a name. We just call them popsicle cause it’s tasty.” Marie replied while thinking about the weed or something.

Popsicle wanted to reply but that would keep her from the piss. That doesn’t matter, they won’t get enough screen time. Narrators can only allow her to drink piss. This isn’t a movie. So poor popsicle would wait for two more paragraphs.

Callie would look at the Marie that actually began to float due to their weed intake. Marie tried to look serious but Callie came up with the perfect insult. “Get down here you drunk old Goku from My Hero Academia.”

Marie could not handle this statement toward inkling kind and Goku kind. Unable to control her weed powers anymore she fell to the ground despite never leaving it.

This is the part where we leave it on a cliffhanger but we need the completion of this shit so let’s set it up for a sequel. The piss finally reacted to the cup and grew a nose. That nose grew legs to run away from popsicle. Popsicle was sad and unable to have her piss. But her thirst overpowered her and she ran to the sunset in order to get her sweet piss.

**Author's Note:**

> This is set up for a sequel we will never make. Unless demand is high. Then maybe, if we can find a Marie as good as this one. MARIE IS DEAD. Otherwise this is Piss Mode 2 electric boogaloo, the sequel to a mode that never happened. Next time we explore Popsicle’s adventure to get her piss in a cup back and Callie just tagging along so her hard work isn’t put to the trash.


End file.
